Lesson 14: The Barrier to Assurance
It is important to separate the difference between self-awareness and consciousness. Self-awareness exposes the results (personality, dominant mental, physical and emotional patterns, perceptions, strengths, weaknesses, etc.). Consciousness reveals the cause of them. And that is a very different adventure.
Consciousness works with mathematical precision in that the more conscious you become, the more darkness you uncover. Just when you thought you had discovered the bowels of the human condition, it gets worse. Just when you thought you thought you had reached a pinnacle of understanding of life, you see even more. The level of consciousness you are are capable of housing is mathematically proportional to the level of darkness you are capable of experiencing. Do you see the problem?
No sooner is civil rights finally achieved here than it is revoked there. No sooner is gerrymandering outlawed there than it becomes policy here. No sooner is the well-being of the all pronounced here than the well-being of the few pronounced there. But the result (the outcome) is not the problem! Consequently, the person capable of truly seeing understands the predictable futility of using external means of solving the problems that plague the world. Run one dictator off, another takes control. You get one bill paid off, another one arrives. You kill one terrorist, another blows up a crowd in Paris. You get one idiot out of office, another idiot gets elected.
And all the while, the weariness grows and this is the barrier. How can you live “assured” if your experience is seeing life as an endless battle? How can you live in joy if your entire bodily experience is one of struggle? You can’t! And this is the barrier. Weariness is not the reality! Fear is not the reality! But it feels like it is. Love is the Reality. Joy is the Reality. The ecstasy of life is the Reality.
“The Anarchs of the formless depths arose,
Great Titan beings and demoniac powers,
World-egos racked with lust and thought and will,
Vast minds and lives without a spirit within:
Impatient architects of error’s house,
Leaders of the cosmic ignorance and unrest
And sponsors of sorrow and mortality
Embodied the dark ideas of the Abyss.”
And the journey continues.
“The seeking mind replaced the seeing Soul:
Life grew into a huge and hungry death,
The Spirit’s bliss was changed to cosmic pain
Assuring God’s self-cowled neutrality
A mighty opposition conquered Space.
A sovereign ruling falsehood, death and grief,
It pressed its fierce hegemony on the earth;
Disharmonising the original style
Of the architecture of her fate’s design,
It falsified the primal cosmic Will
And bound to struggle and dread vicissitudes
The long slow process of the patient Power.”
It is the very weariness that will force the issue, that will cause to rise in you a firm “no” to living this way any longer. The barrier will become the means to begin your ascension out of the imprisonment to which you sentenced your beautiful Self. Your seeking mind sees weariness and struggle. What does your soul see? And if you can’t answer that, then what are you willing to see, to pretend, to believe?