Waxing and Waning
All of life is a breathing in and breathing out. Literally.
Sometimes it feels as if the breath is being squeezed out of us, and we must submit to the forces of life over which we fear we have no control. Other times we breath deeply with gratitude, set free by the very same forces of life. It is the ebb and flow, the up and the down, the in and the out, all in constant motion and rhythm of life. The waxing and the waning.
In the midst of this churning, we seek to reconcile the irreconcilable. We seek to find answers, to know what is around the corner, to satisfy our desire for safety and security. Simultaneously, we love the adventure, the not-knowing, the curious wonder at "what's next?"
Your individual issues, and mine, arise from the experience of dis-harmony in dealing these forces of life...the waning and waxing of our days. Each of us seeks harmony in our lives, an irresistible force that like all other forces of life, is one day forgotten, the next day relentlessly pursued. But this desire cannot be extinguished because it is contained within our molecular structure. We seek meaning. But seeking is not the same as finding.
It can appear that we have little objection to the repetition of our suffering as we remain ignorant and unaware of these forces of life, that once embraced, allow us to exit the compression and experience the release. In my experience, the tighter the compression, the more the individual seeks to understand. Without the compression, there is little motivation to seek that understanding. And if there's a motto of the human mind, (not the human being, the human mind) it is "seek but do not find." In other words, what you're really looking for is not really "discoverable."
In whatever terms the individual expresses that process, there remains the unending desire to transcend the compression and exist in daily life as a transcendent being, free, blissful, immortal, defining ourselves beyond the body and the material world. But our body of information and knowledge as how to accomplish this does not change and thus, like a hamster on a wheel, we reside within the fixed-tape-loops of our lives.
As I said, seeking is not the same as finding. Doesn't the seeking itself validate a higher order, another realm of understanding? Could it not then be said that the impulse to evolve, the desire to rise to a higher and more blissful union with life is completely rational and represents an effort in Nature itself that is fundamental to our very existence? We know that something more, something greater is available to us. Would you be willing to take it one more step further and thereby logically assume that matter itself is a disguised form of that higher order? And if that were true, then the knowledge we seek would not be outside of us but inside of us, just as the small acorn has all the structure it needs to become the giant oak.
Therefore, the mechanism by which the perfection is wrought is the waxing and waning, the ups and downs, the duality of life. The shadow and the light are wedded to one another, and when we understand this, we move beyond our sensory experience and engage in that waxing and waning in a much more meaningful manner. You can then consider that the highest aim for which you can aspire is the manifestation of that higher order in your daily life, your behavior, your relationships, your definition of who you consider yourself to be, your work, your parenting, and in your perception of the world. And that is pretty amazing. Easy to do? No. Difficult? Yes.
Difficult because there will be days that wane, followed by days that wax, followed by days that are emotionally debilitating, only to be followed by days that leave you breathless. And in the mix of these days, you may find the splendors of the cosmic process and your path to a larger Self, no longer seeking but having the knowledge to live powerfully in the middle of the going and coming.
Could there be a grander aim?
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