Lesson 38: Armored, Immortal, Unappalled
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My own path of consciousness has included a number of different formats, each one lending itself to another doorway and then another doorway and then another doorway. I can pat myself on the back and say that I have been a good student.
But all I can share is my own experience which I do not pretend to elevate to the level of truth or relevancy. What I can share is how “Savitri” and the work of Sri Aurobindo, Maria Alfassa Richard, known as the Mother, and Patrizia Noreilli-Bachelet, known as Thea by her students, has altered my life.
In 2014, I began reading “Savitri.” In 2016, I finished my second reading. I often tried to read passages to my wife, only to end up in tears without being able to finish. I was so overwhelmed by the joy that I experienced, by the profound sense of at last increasing my understanding of the mystery of the journey of my soul that I had never understood before, that I realized I was experiencing a truth that I had never had before. From the moment I read the first line, ”It was the hour before the Gods awake,” I knew that I had been led to a body of work that no other human being is qualified to contest because of its magnitude. How could it have taken me so long?
In the beginning, I felt an enormous weight when I wrote these blogs, so afraid that I could not possibly share this understanding in the way that it needed to be shared. As time went by, I realized that if I was true to what “Savitri” had done for me and did my best to relate that to the reader, then I was justified in continuing the work. It is difficult to share with you the privilege I feel in having undergone this journey.
In the last blog, Savitri has begun the task of confronting Death and the Abyss through eternal Night and the voices of Darkness that lay within, a journey that all human beings experience. Her task will be to conquer Death and provide for all of humanity, an immortal life, a life of heaven on earth.
“Armoured with light she advanced her foot to plunge
Into the dread and hueless vacancy;
Immortal, unappalled, her spirit faced
The danger of the ruthless eyeless waste.”
Each human being has known the boundless terror and fear of life. The fragility of daily life hinges upon the ceaseless fulfillment of your sensory nature…I want this, I want that, I like this, I don’t like that…it never stops. Such conditions are not too drastically different than wild animals seeking food, water and safety on a daily basis. But through her journey, Savitri has realized a consciousness that at last, has the power to confront “The immense refusal of the eternal No.”
But don’t be naïve. It can be so difficult to confront your own darkness, your own barriers and to be willing to take the next step.
“And to abysmal loneliness she fell,
Even from herself cast out, from love remote
Long hours, since long it seems when sluggish-time
Is measured by the throbs of the soul’s pain,
In an unreal darkness empty and drear
She travelled treading on the corpse of life,
Lost in a blindness of extinguished souls.
Solitary in the anguish of the void
She lived in spite of death, she conquered still;
In vain her puissant being was oppressed:
Her heavy long monotony of pain
Tardily of its fierce self-torture tired.”
You, too, have known these moments, moments that would last far too long, the neurology and mind retreating into the only thing it has known to confront the darkness…the past…the same place where the darkness was born. The salvation you seek through the learned reliance on the past is the very poison you accept as a substitute for what is real, for what awaits your awakened mind. But here’s the kicker…what you truly seek is what you already are! You can’t find it because it’s never been lost in the first place! Hidden perhaps. Discarded perhaps. But never lost. Who you really are is sitting right in front of you, staring at you with a smile. But just because you can’t see it doesn’t make it non-existent!
And now, the last showdown, the final debate between Savitri and Death begins. Both are warriors but one possesses the sword of truth, the truth that you are.