Lesson 46: Appalling Revolutions
Simply put, your mind works best when it has been given a work to achieve or at least has been given a focus for its energies and efforts. Your mind can receive inspirations from horizontal or vertical forces but you can only create what is within the elements of your particular potentialities which is always enough and always quite satisfying and fulfilling Nonetheless, your mind can create false structures along the way (judgments, beliefs, opinions, perceptions, projections, positions, etc.) and make them true to itself and its own mental framework but it doesn't make it true to anyone or anything else. Simply put, if you don't know what something is for, you don't don't know how to use it. To be specific, if you don't know what your existence is about or your interpretation about your existence is just another bonehead idea born out of your ego, then you don't know how to use your life. It's just another illusion to be added to the growing list of illusions. Again, if you don't know what it's for, you don't know how to use it.
But remember, we have learned what these illusions are for. Your negative-ground-of-being (the negative belief or beliefs you have about yourself that you think are true but are not but you don't know that so you assume and function as though they are true) is a tool of your becoming, of your evolution, that you have chosen as a mechanism to grow, to ascend. Your negative-ground-of-being (NGB) is the parent of many other falsehoods and ignorant beliefs you have developed in your life. So, if you can solve and eliminate the NGB, you automatically alter the outcomes of its offshoots. And if you can't eliminate the NGB, then you can certainly neutralize it. But because you know what the NGB is for, you know how to use it. You use the NGB to learn and grow and become conscious about who you are and what your true existence is for. For example, if you consciously neutralize your NGB and you consciously realize that you are not less than nor have you ever been less than anyone else, you can consciously and immediately do away with your identification with shame or self-degradation or a myriad of offshoots connected to the original illusion that something is wrong with you. It may take time or it may not...it depends upon your level of consciousness about it. Either way, you are going out of agreement with the parent and creating a new reality. And this makes you powerful in the sense that you are beginning to create an internal center that is not based upon worldly affairs and the sensory world. You are beginning to move within.
Aurobindo's spiritual collaborator, Marie Alfassa Richard, known as the Mother, said of this spiraling condition of the human experience:
"There is such a great difference between feeling vaguely, having a hesitant impression of something, of a force, a movement, an impulse, an attraction, of something which drives you in life — but it is still so vague, so uncertain, it is hazy — there is such a difference between this and having a clear vision, an exact perception, a total understanding of the meaning of one’s life. And only then does one begin to see things as they are, not before. Only then can one follow the thread of one’s destiny and clearly see the goal and the way to reach it. But that happens only through successive inner awakenings, like doors opening suddenly on new horizons — truly, a new birth into a truer, deeper, more lasting consciousness. Until then you live in a cloud, gropingly, under the weight of a destiny which at times crushes you, gives you the feeling of having been made in a certain way and being unable to do anything about it.
You are under the burden of an existence which weighs you down, makes you crawl on the ground instead of rising above and seeing all the threads, the guiding threads, the threads which bind different things into a single movement of progression towards a realisation that grows clear. One must spring up out of this half-consciousness which is usually considered quite natural — this is your “normal” way of being and you do not even draw back from it sufficiently to be able to see and wonder at this incertitude, this lack of precision; while, on the contrary, to know that one is seeking and to seek consciously, deliberately, steadfastly and methodically, this indeed is the exceptional, almost “abnormal” condition. And yet only in this way does one begin to truly live."
Aurobindo provides the reader with a reminder of the failure of all previous substitutes for the real thing:
"The messages of the evangelist gods,
Voices of prophets, scripts of vanishing creeds,
Each in its hour eternal claimed went by:
Ideals, systems, sciences, poems, crafts
Tireless there perished and again recurred,
Sought restlessly by some creative Power;
But all were dreams crossing an empty vast
Ascetic voices called of lonely seers
Or mountain summits or by river banks
Or from the desolate heart of forest glades,
Seeking heaven's rest or the spirit's worldless peace,
Or in bodies motionless like statures, fixed
In tranced cessations of their sleepless thought
Sat sleeping souls, and this too was a dream,
All things the past has made and slain were there,
Its lost forgotten forms that once had lived,
And all the present loves as new-revealed
And all the hopes the future brings had failed
Already, caught and spent in efforts vain,
Repeated fruitlessly age after age.
Unwearied all returned insisting still
Because of joy to labour and to win and lose
And joy to create and keep and joy to kill.
The rolling cycles passed and came again,
Brought the same toils and the same barren end,
Forms ever new and ever old, the long
Appalling revolutions of the world."
Savitri's confrontation with Death is coming to a head, just as it may be your time to confront once and for all the "half-consciousness" in your life to which the Mother refers. You will need all of your courage, commitment and resilience to see these steps through until a new beginning has appeared. Or you can ignore the warning signs and pursue the same old paths and spend lifetime afer lifetime in the circular "appalling revolutions" of life.